You are certain your mom is not safe at home. She argues with you and refuses to admit she needs help. How can you convince her that home care services can help her out without eliminating her independence?
Track Incidents That Concern You.
Your mom won’t like hearing it, but keep a list of things that have happened that concern you. You’ve noticed she is only eating yogurts and cheese sticks lately. Jot it down. She forgot her hair appointment. Note that, too.
Keep track of her strengths, too. You notice she always remembers to take her medications. She keeps her kitchen clean of dirty dishes, crumbs, and spills.
When you have a list, sit down and talk about how she could have help taking care of these tasks that she’s struggling to do. Point out the things she does well and that with just a little help, she could avoid the struggles while still being as independent as she currently is.
Go Over ADL and IADL Checklists.
Print out the checklists for activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs). You can find them online. Ask your mom how many she can do easily and without help.
ADLs are things your mom should be able to do for her personal care needs. It includes tasks like brushing her teeth, taking a shower, getting dressed, and using the toilet. ADLs also cover walking around, going up and down stairs, eating a meal, sitting down, standing up, and getting into and out of bed.
IADLs are more targeted at household management and aging at home. They include creating a meal plan, shopping for ingredients, and preparing meals. Remembering to take medications, doing laundry, and keeping the house clean and organized are also IADLs. Making calls, finding phone numbers, paying bills, and arranging transportation or driving to a destination round out the list of IADLs.
Sit Down and Talk to Others Who Use Home Care.
Your mom may fear that if she hires home care, she loses her independence. Sit down with people she knows who use home care services. If she gets to hear their experiences, she may change her mind. Once she knows caregivers are there to help and not take over, she may be more willing to talk about home care services.
Gather the Family for a Meeting.
Sit down with your mom and have an open discussion about the benefits of home care. Involve others in the family that she respects and is likely to listen to. This might mean getting aunts and uncles or close cousins to come for a family meeting.
Once she’s willing to talk about having someone helping her at home, call us. We can address her concerns and answer her questions.