Your mom is stubborn. She’s convinced she’s fully capable of living alone. She insists she doesn’t need help. You’ve arrived to find her shoveling the driveway in just a sweater and slippers. Her fridge is full of outdated foods. She’s only eating canned soup and yogurts.
There comes a time when you have to step in and become a parent to your elderly parent. Here are ways to know when you will have to push her to do things and when you’re okay letting her win.
Can You Compromise?
Compromise is a good way to avoid any arguments. Say you want your mom to buy a new coat and boots for the winter, and she’s convinced hers are good enough. You know they’re ripped or have holes, but she doesn’t want to spend the money. Compromise with her and go to a used clothing store where she gets a used coat, but she won’t spend as much money.
Does She Need to Know What’s Happening?
If your mom has Alzheimer’s, she may forget what you want to do. If that’s a possibility, just push and know in a few hours she’ll have forgotten everything. If she will remember, it can help to have a discussion as to why it’s important to you. Ask her if roles were reversed, how would she resolve the current situation?
Is It Worth the Tension?
You each believe your opinion is the most important. If it’s affecting the quality of time you spend together, it’s often better to table the discussion for a future date. Wait until you both are looking at the issue with a clear mind.
Is Her Safety at Risk?
If her safety is at risk, you have to push. If she insists on living at home alone, but she forgot dinner was cooking and started a kitchen fire, she clearly cannot cook her own meals. In this case, cut the power or fuel source to the oven. She’ll need to have meals delivered to her or have someone cook her meals.
If your mom really wants to stay in her home, elderly care professionals offer a solution to many of the frustrations you’ll experience. A caregiver can make sure your mom is dressed appropriately to go outside. Caregivers can plan menus, take your mom shopping, and cook meals. Your mom gains a friend, but she also has her privacy and independence.
If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring elderly care in Edison, NJ, call the caring staff at Helping Hands Home Care today at 908-418-4299. Providing Home Care Services in all of Northern and Central NJ, including Clark, Westfield, Cranford, Scotch Plains, Rahway, Linden, Summit, Edison, Elizabeth, Mountainside and the surrounding areas.
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